Boy Movies #86

A conversation about the “theatrical bingeable experience” with Cassidy Olsen

Welcome back to Boy Movies, a newsletter about movies for boys written by me, Allison.

Have you heard the word? Four guys are gonna play the Beatles in four movies that will comprise what director Sam Mendes wholechestedly referred to as “the first theatrical bingeable experience.”

This is a threat.

Breaking the news at CinemaCon not only forced normos to google “what is CinemaCon,” but forced the studio behind this theatrical bingeable experience (that would be Sony) to come up with a truly groundbreaking method of announcing the casting, which had been rumored online for months before officially being confirmed. They went about this by dressing the four guys (Paul Mescal, Harris Dickinson, Barry Keoghan, and Joseph Quinn) like Hot Topic employees showing up for their first day of work and blasting their headshots on a huge screen like they were introducing a new X-Guardians of the Fantastic Avengers movie. The commodification of the Beatles is a tale as old as the Beatles themselves, but something about this felt especially sick and twisted.

Paul Mescal IS… Paul

I love The Beatles. This is a pretty well-known fact about me; I’ve received messages from mutuals I barely speak to after a Paul McCartney fan edit set to “Girl, so confusing” reached their TikTok algorithm and made them think of me. It’s flattering. There are worse things to be associated with. But, as my brothers in arms know, loving the Beatles has made the last week absolute hell, for reasons small and large. What do you mean Harris Dickinson is taller than the rest of the cast? What do you mean Vogue “fancasted” Kaia Gerber as Barbara Bach and Jenna Ortega as Olivia Harrison? What do you mean this joke has been inescapable? What do you — what do you mean? Am I taking this too seriously or are you perhaps not taking it seriously enough? Well, that’s not for me to say. I’m just a humble newsletter writer.

I had no choice but to call upon Cassidy Olsen, longtime friend of the newsletter and, more importantly, longtime friend to me in my life, as well as the biggest Beatlemaniac I know, to attempt to make sense of it all with me. Our conversation is below.

you know a The Row sample sale hates to see them coming

Allison
Now that we’re about a week separated from The Big News, how are you feeling about these impending Beatles movies?

Cassidy
Well these movies really crept up on us in a sort of foreboding, inevitable way. The initial rumours became the casting rumours became the giant Comic Con-style THE BEATLES announcement last week that was ultimately very silly because anyone who was paying attention knew this was coming. Here they are. The Beatles.

My initial reaction was one of “must we?” but whenever I express that to casual movie people or non-fans of The Beatles, they always seem confused. “Why wouldn’t you be excited about Sam Mendes making Beatles movies? He’s good? You like them?” But people like yourself (who are both Movie People and Beatles People) seem to largely share in my dread.

I understand why four separate authorized biopics of the Fab Four is massive and why people will be excited and why they did the Avengers-style announcement. But I can count the number of biopics I like on one hand, I’m protective of my guys, and I still don’t fucking understand what a theatrical bingeable experience is.

Allison
The Marvelification of the announcement was sooooooooo crazy, and proof they’re going full boy movie (derogatory) with this. They’re making the Beatles Cinematic Universe. The BCU. I’ve gotten a lot of “well, who would YOU have cast?” reactions from people and it’s like, girl, nobody! These movies shouldn’t exist. Paul and Yoko especially should not be alive while they’re being made. Ringo innocent I think but only because he seems to enjoy BarryRingo (Bingo) so much.

The idea of a “theatrical bingeable experience” is also so wrong. Like, morally. What the fuck is this? Sam Mendes being like, “I’m cool with that” gives me major “cinema is over” vibes, not to get all doomsday about it.

Which of the castings is most offensive to you?

Cassidy
BINGOOOOO. I completely agree that it’s weird as fuck these are happening while Paul and Ringo and Yoko are all still around. But with the way they’ve been doing legacy stuff these past few years I can’t say I’m surprised.

This is obvious to you but I am a George girl. Always have been always will be. So the worst casting to me is Joseph Quinn because I’m sorry, but I don’t really know who that man is. I know he’s around, but I never watched Stranger Things and he has dead scary eyes (to me). Also, if these four are each going to be the LEAD of their own film, I think he’s the only one of the group who hasn’t proven he can carry a movie? (Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve at least seen the other three as leads.)¹

The casting that is the LEAST offensive to me is Barry as Ringo (Bingo) because both men share rough childhoods, interesting faces, and an ultimate happy-go-lucky attitude. I admire Barry Keoghan and I think this one could work. I could be so wrong but I’m just happy Ringo is happy.

Allison
We’re all happy Ringo is happy. Ijbol at those who see Ringo as the joke of the group being like, “Ringo’s movie is gonna be so unserious!” or “Ringo’s movie should star a Muppet!” or whatever. You fools. He had a Dickensian childhood. You don’t know anything about anything.

I want to make a few points, re: music biopics. I was talking to my friend Alexis about these Beatles movies the other night and she reminded me that the reason we ended up with that piece of shit Bohemian Rhapsody is because the surviving members of Queen interfered too much with the version Sacha Baron Cohen wanted to make (aka one that featured gay sex and drug use.) Obviously I don’t think Sacha is like, some vestige of art and integrity, but I’m sure whatever he would’ve made would’ve at least been more original than what we ended up with. I famously hated A Complete Unknown, but I thought Todd Haynes did something exciting and cool with I’m Not There that still makes that movie feel especially singular today. It aged well because it was so weird and daring.

Obviously this is all just a matter of opinion so who cares what I think, etc, but I do feel a sense of dread about these! Joseph Quinn is one of the reasons for that dread. I have not watched Stranger Things either and have only seen him as maybe the most annoying character (amid a sea of annoying characters) in Gladiator II so he has yet to prove himself to me. Also, his hairline… I’m sorry…

With that being said, Paul as Paul is by far the most offensive to me. I am, as you know, a Paul (McCartney) girl and have gone on record saying that the only type of person who has any business playing him is a beautiful woman. Harris is whatever. I think the other three are overshadowing him so much that we’re all just kind of like, “sure” re: him. And I love Harris!

I want to come back to Beatle specific stuff, and I will, but I would love to hear your thoughts on music biopics as a whole. Remember when we saw the Beach Boys one together? That was pretty good.

Cassidy
We saw Love & Mercy on my birthday and it bummed me out so bad.

Allison
Me when we saw Prometheus on my birthday.

Cassidy
Why do I feel like both of those were my fault?

Allison
They were.

Cassidy
Anyway. As you were talking about Paul as Paul (I agree, not a choice I like right now) I also feel it’s worth mentioning that we have previously discussed being interested in no-names playing the Beatles because it would allow us to see young actors we don’t know become these men in potentially interesting ways. So I feel badly for saying “who the fuck is Joseph Quinn” because honestly it would probably be best if I didn’t know any of these men and we were getting a sense of the Beatles when they were actually as young as they were (and not 30-ish, which is how old all these actors are!), but unfortunately movies like that don’t get made anymore. You need a group of guys who are hot shit and getting nominated for Oscars and in big summer movies playing Droog or whatever. (Many have pointed out that Paul Mescal and Harris Dickinson aren’t household names yet, which is fair, but they are obviously still familiar faces.)

This is a roundabout way of saying that I think pre-Bo Rhap music biopics maybe had the opportunity to take more risks and be a little less staid than what we’re getting now. It’s funny that Walk Hard is pretty much a direct parody of Walk the Line, because Walk the Line is GOOD. (Mostly.) Bohemian Rhapsody makes Walk the Line look like The Wind That Shakes the Barley.

As you already mentioned, Todd Haynes has made the best direct and indirect music biopics of our time. I do not hate A Complete Unknown as much as you do (again, I just said I do like some James Mangold) but I found it frustrating and disappointing and pretty flat for reasons I knew I would before I ever saw a single frame of the film. We’re also both big fans of Elvis, and I think that’s another notable exception to the rule of awful, boring biopics.

Allison
I was of course thinking of Elvis the second this conversation began. Talk about experimenting with the form and getting a cool end result. Let Baz direct the Beatles movies! At least we’d have some fun!

This is reminding me that I did enjoy Rocketman, the rare situation where heavy interference from the still-alive artist ended up being for the better. Elton being like, “Yes I looked like this and yes I topped, any questions?” I had none! I was living the fantasy. I think part of that, as well as biopics like Elvis and Better Man, which I recently saw after missing in theaters, is that they manage break away from the stuffy music biopic format that we’ve seen 500 times. They feel like actual movies with an actual perspective. Music biopics are often such rigidly made birth-to-death-here’s-how-they-suffered-for-their-art boy movies. Walk Hard is still perfect for this reason, and that single Beatles scene is almost assuredly better than anything Sam Mendes and co. will come up with. Mmmmmm Paul’s a big fat cunt.

People being pedantic by pointing out that Paul and Harris aren’t household names are just that — pedantic, and needlessly so. The point is that they’re not unknowns, which undeniably would’ve been a more exciting route. The thing is, these guys are slightly too famous for us not to go in with preconceived notions about them, but they’re not famous enough for the announcement to make any genuine cultural impact. It’s thrown us into this murky, amorphous territory that makes me assume the casting director mined Instagram for ideas. If we’d gotten to know four new guys just like the girls got to know four new guys back in the 60s, I’d at least be inclined to believe that Sony is taking these movies seriously.

How do you feel about Sam Mendes?

Cassidy
I forgot about Rocketman briefly. Richard Madden: hot!

How do I feel about Sam Mendes? That’s a great question that I don’t have a fantastic answer to. Like, I’m a big fan of Roger Deakins. I like the people he works with. He’s undoubtedly working at a scale that very few directors are these days. But I have no emotional connection to the man or his work, really.

American Beauty… It was a different time. Jarhead, important for my crush on Jake Gyllenhaal when I was 13. Revolutionary Road? Sad. 1917? Saw it in the Jordan’s Furniture IMAX. Empire of Light? Nobody saw that. Spectre is also bad. I guess my favorite of his movies is literally Skyfall. Skyfall is good.

His Englishness is very core to his later work and for that reason it tracks he’s doing these movies. He works on a scale commeasure with how famous and important these guys are. But ultimately I am afraid these are going to be big, swelling, “these are the most important English men EVER” biopics without any of the quiet, funny, and more tender interpersonal dynamics that make me love the Beatles as actual people so much. Does that make sense? How do you feel?

Allison
We’re very aligned. Did you know he directed Away We Go? I did not until this very second. That is one of the most late 2000s movies to ever exist. Skyfall, famous boy movie, is also my favorite of his. I don’t know what he put in Skyfall that he hasn’t been able to put into any of his other movies! Daniel Craig/Javier Bardem homoeroticism, maybe.

I think he feels like an appropriately bland choice of director for what these movies are certainly shaping up to be. What can he give us that Peter Jackson hasn’t, you know? I guess Sam Mendes can bring them into Cinematic Event territory, which is all the studio really wants anyway. We know he can direct movies on a large scale, he’s a pretty prolific boy movie director, and, as you said, the man is Bri’ish and proud of it. I have no idea what direction he’s going to take these “bingeable” movies in and all we can do right now is annoy ourselves by speculating. I mean, he can’t start at the very beginning, unless he plans on doing some pretty intense CGI on the actors’ faces. In which case: lol… I actually might be all in.

The last time you were on Boy Movies to talk about the lads, you ranked all the Beatles movies (the ones they made, aka Help!, Let It Be, A Hard Day’s Night, etc.) from least to most boy. Knowing absolutely nothing other than the cast and, like, what we already know about the guys themselves, can you do a hypothetical ranking of the forthcoming Beatles movies from least to most boy?

Cassidy
Thank you for shouting out Peter Jackson because he and Papa Scorsese are the film guardians of the Beatles in our current times and I trust them both so much with those narratives that it’s hard to see someone else come in and have a go at the legacy. I know Paul and Ringo and the widows must have respect for Sam Mendes but… it’s scary!

To answer your actual question, the boy ranking of these movies is going to be tough because I don’t think the boyishness of the actors currently matches the boyishness of the Beatles and their narratives. For example, I would say Paul (McCartney) and his life story would lend itself to being the LEAST boy of the group. Sensitive soul, good family, wife guy, tender friend. The business bitch of the group. But Paul (Mescal)’s casting, and the type of movies he is increasingly making, has me thinking it might be a boy-ier movie. Here’s my stab at it:

• Least boy: Joseph as George. I think they won’t really know what to do here but if they push into his inner life and his spirituality as much as I imagine they might, we could be left with a very introspective, teary Girl Movie. HOWEVER, I could be completely wrong and they could shoot for Boy Movie because George is not as big of a draw as Paul or John and he’s a bit of a bitch. They could make it all about his resentment. I hope they don’t.

• 3rd: Paul as Paul. Girl actor who is trying to become a boy actor, and as you’ve already pointed out, Paul should be played by a beautiful woman. Paul McCartney’s actual involvement and oversight into this film is one of the reasons I think it might be a little less Boy Movie.

• 2nd: Harris as John. Harris as John should be one of the least boy, because Harris is more of a girl actor and John is an incredibly distinctive person, but because it’s John Lennon and he was literally murdered I think this one is going to be trope-y and probably appeal to that Boy Movie audience.

• MOST boy: Barry as Ringo. For the aforementioned tough childhood, outsider of the group vibe. I think this film will lean heavily into these tropes BECAUSE Ringo will be the least popular narrative to sell to a general audience and Barry is such a character and they’re going to make a whole thing of that. Not sure if that makes sense but that’s in my spirit. Also he’s the drummer… it’s inevitable.

Only time will tell here.

Allison
You already know I agree about Paul’s life story being the least boy of the four. Paul is a girlboss!

I think this hypothetical ranking is spot on and thank you for taking such a stupid question seriously. Harris as John being the wild card is a really astute point. Of the four actors, Harris is the girliest girl actor, even compared to Paul (Mescal), who seemed to really be leaning into a full-fledged girl actor career until the past couple of years. Now I don’t know what to do with him. He is officially outside my pay grade.

Men love John Lennon. Men are literally obsessed with the myth that is John Lennon, and I know a lot of the reason for that is because, as you said, he literally got murdered. But John was also a huge bitch! And he was goofy! Of them all, he makes the most sense as the subject of an Oscar-y music biopic. This is neither here nor there, I guess, but if a woman with an Instagram face gets cast as Yoko I’m throwing myself out a window. It’s bad enough that they’re gonna have to invent a plot line about Ringo having a filler addiction in the ‘60s in order to make the current uncanny valley ass state of Barry’s face make sense.

George is such a funny choice for, like, the MALE LEAD of a movie. Papa Scorsese did such excellent work with that doc, which touched on everything from George’s spirituality to his bitchiness to his ultimately kind heart, but I do wonder how he’ll work as Male Protagonist. He’s an unconventional choice.

Do you have anything else you want to add about the Beatles, Beatles movies, or any of these guys?

Cassidy
Just that the more we talk about this the less I understand what these movies will actually look like. Like, are we doing 1964? Are we doing birth to death? Are we doing the Esther demos? What if they just did literally all of Get Back but recreated with actors and broken up into four separate runtimes? (I really do not want to see George’s cancer and attempted stabbing on screen, if I’m being honest.)

I truly hope it’s going to be a wacky, imaginative time at the movies. Hell, I look forward to spending eight fucking hours in the same week at the cinema in 2028 or whenever these are coming out. Even if they’re terrible, I know I’m going to have fun. But I do hope for all our sakes that they’re not boring. The boys deserve more!

Allison
At the very least they deserve something entertaining. Whatever happens, I will see you in 2028 and can’t wait to inevitably complain about these movies with you, even if we do end up not hating them.

Thanks for coming on for this emergency discussion issue. Will you return in 2028 to do a full breakdown on the movies themselves?

Cassidy
If we’re alive, sure.

Allison
Here’s hoping Boy Movies will have been bought by Amazon by then. Or, right, maybe we’ll be dead.

1. “But he was in A Quiet Place: Day One.” Listen to yourself when you speak.