Boy Movies #52

The first issue of Radiohead Movies, by Haley Patail

You’re reading Boy Movies, a newsletter by me, Allison Picurro. Or, well, usually by me! When you read this, I’ll be (god willing) in the air, returning from vacation (brag — I went on vacation), so in my absence I eagerly hand the keys to Haley Patail, my longtime Twitter mutual (this, imo, is tantamount to her being my emergency contact) who makes her Boy Movies debut today. I’m thrilled to have her here with a fun one, a deep dive into the Radiohead Cinematic Universe. (Control+F “Creep.”) While we were chatting, her pitch included descriptors like “deranged” and “not very normal.” This is true and it is also why I loved reading her piece so much. With that, I’ll stop silencing other women and let Haley SPEAK. Enjoy! Literally how could you not?

Well, I’m sorry you feel that way Thom

I am here in the hallowed halls of Boy Movies to talk to you about Radiohead — a band that boys want you to think is for boys but is absolutely girl-coded. No one writes a song called “How to Disappear Completely” for BOYS. Jonny Greenwood has had the same sharp cheekbones and silky black bob for approximately 30 years. Thom Yorke wrote an original song for The Twilight Saga: New Moon and scored the Suspiria remake. Be serious rn. 

Anyway. I’m here to offer an extremely subjective ranking of the uses of Radiohead songs in trailers. And probably to get off-topic and stand on a few of my many Radiohead soapboxes in the process. It’s such an honor to be here! 

RADIOHEAD IN TRAILERS (ranked best to worst)

1. The Social Network: Creep (Scala & Kolacny Brothers choral cover)

Peak boy behavior all around: this movie, this song choice. Extremely iconic and indelible. If this is David Fincher’s concession after not getting Radiohead to score Fight Club like Brad Pitt wanted, then hats off to him. It’s also a perfect example of a cover that doesn’t disrespect the original or the audience. The choir is kinda silly but serious at the same time, just like the movie and that little bitch M*rk Z*ckerberg. This is how it’s done.

2. The Accountant: Everything In Its Right Place (EIIRP)

If “Creep” is the knee-jerk Radiohead song, “EIIRP” is the one people turn to next. It’s ironic that a song Thom wrote about fame fatigue has become so ubiquitous, but I kinda get why. It’s not THAT weird in the scope of their discography and the chorus is lyrically straightforward and evocative if propped up next to certain images or themes. I’m not convinced that it’s used wisely, on the whole (surely not EVERYTHING is in its right place, guys. Look around you!) In this instance, though, it makes perfect sense– even if imagining Ben Affleck (king of boys) as a neurodivergent super-accountant makes… slightly less sense. No notes!

3. Artemis Fowl: Decks Dark¹

I vaguely remember being impressed by the out-of-nowhere use of this song in a trailer for a movie that no one was ever going to see. I was very into the Artemis Fowl books as a kid (he’s definitely a boy for girls — my memory is that he’s got an intense working friendship with a badass fairy lady??) but it seems like a wildly unwise thing to try to adapt in a live-action format. I have to give them credit for going for it and working outside the prescribed Radiohead Songs That Go In Content. 

4. Anonymous: EIIRP

My boyfriend and Boy Movies contributor Nicholas Russell put me on to this. This trailer is bizarre and in my opinion falls into the category of an unwise use of this song. (What exactly is in — or out of — its right place here? History…?) But I respect that they left it intact and essentially built their entire trailer around it as a counterpoint to the period setting. I remain gleefully and mostly unseriously tin-hat about Shakespeare actually being a bunch of ladies² so this movie is fantasy nonsense to me but based on the comments for this trailer there are people who still ride hard for it so, go off I guess!

5. Renfield: Creep

The insipid punching up of a song for trailer purposes — and the long, horrible shadow of Edgar Wright’s on-beat action scenes from Baby Driver — strikes again. It feels like a phoned-in song choice, to be honest. There has to be something more fun they could have used³. You know, maybe the person who chose “Creep” was quiet-quitting their job at the trailer factory and if that’s the case then I’ll allow it. Solidarity with the workers.

6. Napoleon: The National Anthem (cover⁴)

Charging across the battlefield and into last place! To call this a cover of this song is extremely generous. When I heard whoever tf sing the word “everyone” I knew exactly what song it was meant to be but that’s because I have a sickness. My bf wouldn’t have even known it was a Radiohead cover but for the fact that I experienced a white-hot wave of rage in the theater and essentially blacked out. Why on earth would you get rid of the driving bassline of this song? Why yassify the vocals (which btw is tantamount to silencing a woman: Thom Yorke⁵) and strip literally everything else away? I don’t understand how the average non-Radiohead-fan is even supposed to clock this and get that it’s clever because the song is called “The National Anthem.” It’s doubly annoying because I think the actual song would have been very cool and effective! What a waste!!!! Ridley Scott, you will be hearing from my lawyers.

LIGHTNING ROUND
Notable uses of Radiohead songs in boy movies:

• A Scanner Darkly: Fog, Amazing Sounds of Orgy, Skttrbrain (remix), Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors, Reckoner

  • Richard Linklater seems like the exact kind of Radiohead guy that I do not want to talk to but I respect the hell out of the five???!!! deep cuts he put in this movie

• Vanilla Sky: EIIRP + I Might Be Wrong 

  • “EIIRP” feels beyond typical here but “I Might Be Wrong” rips so I salute them

• The Goldfinch: EIIRP + Codex 

  • .....anyway lmao

• Apparently “High and Dry” is in both 50/50 and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry which just goes to show you how little Radiohead is respected as a band for girls because that is one of their most girl-coded songs for sure

Notable uses of Radiohead songs in girl movies: 

• Clueless: My Iron Lung + Fake Plastic Trees

  • One of the girl movies of all time based on one of the girl books of all time. I love that “Fake Plastic Trees” is used as basically the score for this movie even though Cher (correctly) calls it “maudlin music” when Josh is listening to it. Chef’s kiss!

• Romeo + Juliet: Talk Show Host + Exit Music (for a Film)

  • Another one of the girl movies of all time!! Also the only time that the band wrote a song specifically for use in a movie. Absolute perfection imo; “Exit Music” makes me want to wail and gnash my teeth which is, I imagine, exactly what Thom wanted.

• Twilight: 15 Step

  • I have nothing to say about this other than it is one of the most insane things that has ever happened in the history of cinema and every time I think about it I get a massive grin on my face

The award for best uses of Radiohead songs in movies of both boy and girl persuasion goes to: Denis Villeneuve! My man put two (2) songs from Radiohead’s scariest and most underrated album Amnesiac in Incendies (a girl movie insofar as every movie that makes you feel horrible is at least girl-coded) and one song in Prisoners (a certified boy movie)! Maybe the Cleopatra movie will see a return of Denis as cinema’s #1 Radiohead stan. Denis if you’re reading this please reach out to me I have to talk to you about Radiohead PLEASE!!!

We Need to Talk About Spectre. I’ve been told that it’s unfair of me to hold a grudge against Sam Smith for the rest of time simply because the team behind the pretty bad movie Spectre picked their boring and random (not in a fun way like Adele’s “Skyfall”) song over Radiohead’s beautiful, sweeping, Bond-as-hell “Spectre.” So I guess I’d just like to know who exactly I am allowed to have a grudge against for this miscarriage of movie-music justice. Because I have to put my anger about it somewhere. I’m an Aries. 

Finally, I’m going to take this opportunity to make a desperate call for Rian Johnson to break his silence and be held accountable for putting “Glass Onion” the song in Glass Onion the movie but NOT putting “Knives Out” the song in Knives Out the movie. The world needs answers!!!!

1. Apparently Ozark uses this song to great effect but this isn’t Boy Shows so we’re not gonna get into it.

2. Shakespeare IS for girls regardless of who “he” was.

3. Like, idk, “The Hand That Feeds” by Nine Inch Nails? Just spitballing here!

4. I categorically refuse to learn any details about this abominable rendition.

5. Allison here: Thom Yorke officially joins the illustrious ranks of “Men” Who The Newsletter Boy Movies Has Claimed Are, In Fact, Actually Women. He is the latest addition to a group that also includes Colin Farrell, Al Pacino, and Tom Hardy.